08 Jan Ghosts: When You Lose Something, Start Something
The lyrics in Ella Henderson’s Ghost, spoke to me when I first heard them ladies. Do you have a ghost from 2015, or from a long time before – that continues to haunt you – a boyfriend, spouse, or relationship with memories that continually haunt you, or someone you cared about with an addiction, and it didn’t work out that you can’t seem to allow to let go in your mind?
Hearing your stories, which inspire us to do what we do and fight for you, because of your immense strength and knowing your massive losses, knowing a lot of you are going through intense pain, and the ghost of that loss and the memories and void that is left after, that lingers may continue to haunt you.
The difficult part for you is that this person may never ever know the hell that they caused you emotionally, physically, in all forms, the extent, and the time, energy, and life its taken from you. As the lyrics detail, you had to go through hell to prove you weren’t insane, and you’ve met the devil personally walking through. Only you have experienced it and the depths of that pain. It may even be worse than physical pain, because with physical pain, at some point, there is an end to it but emotional pain and loss, sometimes has a ghost that lingers doesn’t it? It can last forever if we let it right? Triggers that remind us, coping mechanisms to deal, that may pull us back into a time and place as close as the reality when things were good, to the good memories, as they continue to haunt you perhaps even years later. Time helps, but does it truly heal – I think many could say the verdict is still out without the right approach.
I heard an inspiring message recently, called New. Letting go of past disappointments in life, the relationships that didn’t work, the baggage that the mind continues to allow us to hold onto and experience, and the message was that there is nothing you can do about the past ladies, it is what it is. It can’t be changed, but what you can change is your 2016, your NEW year. The message was drop the baggage from the past, from 2015, so that you can start fresh this year. Essentially give up the ghost that has been haunting your space for such a long time…squelch the haunting…squelch the loss, squelch what you can’t change, and feel like you are living again. Be free!
In the Ghost video, you can see where the man drops this woman into the water. Have you felt that way? So lifeless and numb that you feel emotionally dead inside. The heart is beating barely, but everything else is dead. This can happen when we lose someone significant in life, and have no explanation or closure perhaps, for why it occurred. If the root was addiction, addiction doesn’t explain itself – it’s massively an enigma of someone changing, due to how addiction changes people physically, emotionally, and spiritually, negatively, and it steals and destroys love.
Even when she hits the water, it still looks like she’s barely alive on the outside, but perhaps you’ve gone around even feeling like the walking dead inside. Going through the motions of the body moving, but have felt loss at such a great level, that you feel like the walking dead – as if there was absolutely nothing inside left. You just needed something to wash away the pain.
Have you lost someone or something of great significance to you in 2015? When I lose something of great significance to me ladies, I can tell you better than any medication, numbing, escape, or any avenue of pain alleviation, in its own high, is one of my personal recommendations, “When you lose something, start something.” This past year, we started operations to train girls in self-defense, and many other campaigns, that will be released soon on our social media pages, combatting the evil of pornography that destroys. When you lose something, start something new that has purpose which will fuel you and make you feel alive again. This huge tip will keep life in you ladies during such difficult times, and gives you motivation. It gives you new purpose, and it makes you feel alive, more than anything else. When you help someone else, because of your own pain, its like its own personal drug – the reward that you feel, is beyond words and is intoxicating in its own right. That’s the secret in getting through loss – when you lose something, and you find your mind and the ghosts taking over haunting you, turn it into drive to start something good and in finding your purpose.
In 2005, after the loss of a relationship of significance to me due to an addiction, I started GAPHT. From your emails, we read how GAPHT has helped you since. Through the campaigns, they have helped to tackle the cash flow of the industry, and in preventing exposure to your families and children. I started something, after losing something, and its what helped me deal.
If you’ve lost something in 2015 – start something new ladies! Turn loss into growth and progress and into something NEW! Reroute your pain into your purpose. It really works – I promise you! It’s the cure to depression, it’s the medication that will cure you – turning your pain into good, will bring you so much intrinsic purpose, especially when you see it start to come to fruition, that you will be overwhelmed in such a positive way. When your actions touch others because of your loss, it will fill you up so much more than you could ever imagine.
Give up the ghosts in 2016. Continue to go to the river to pray and make 2016 the year of your phoenix rising – relinquish any power given to the ghosts, to the memories, their haunting, and funnel your pain and the hurt into something good – this is your ultimate remedy!
You are always in our thoughts ladies and everything we do is with you in mind.
*Photo Credit: by Sarah – “Phoenix rising from the smoke”